A few years ago, I walked away from my Lord. I am a mother of three wonderful, little girls. I tried to walk out my life in my own strength and be supermom. I became too prideful to ask for help. I tried to be a full-time mom, full-time employee, the softball mom, the cleaner, the cook, run a house on my own, and everything that comes with being a single mom. When my life started to crumble, I turned to drugs and a man for my security. This left me addicted, my two oldest children living with my mom, homeless, and pregnant.
My family tried to step in and give me a safe place to stay, but I was not ready to admit my addiction. I ended up back on the street three months after I gave birth to my healthy, beautiful baby girl. I was at my end. I had nowhere to go that was safe for her. I could not stay sober for longer than two weeks. I reached out to my grandmother to come and get us. She showed up the next day with my dad, and took me to her house. The second we got there, my dad sat me down and told me that he had been talking to the intake director at Adult and Teen Challenge of the Upper Cumberland, and I should call her and go. I remember him saying that the best he had ever seen me was the day I had previously graduated Teen Challenge in 2012. He said I had been so happy and doing so well until I moved back to my hometown, which was “my Egypt”. After talking to the staff, I finally agreed to go.
I am learning to put my trust in God. During my addiction, I had lost my joy, my self- worth, and my identity. Since coming back to Adult and Teen Challenge, I have found my joy, self-worth, and put my identity back into my Redeemer, the Lord Most High. I am so grateful that God’s mercy and grace are new everyday. God has helped me to walk into freedom from the shame and guilt of my mistakes. I can hold my head up because He has lifted the heaviness of my sins and depression. Praise the Lord! I have a new song in my heart, a song of praise, because His love never fails, and He has been so good to me. The way I think, speak, and act have changed because I am taking the world out of my life and putting the Word in it.
My relationship with my family is being restored. My girls are getting to see God work in my life, which is overflowing into their lives. I am standing on His promises again. I have seen Him move mountains in my life before, and I believe I will see Him do it again.
Once I graduate, I plan on starting the process of getting my two oldest daughters back. I will have my youngest back and will get to raise them in the Word. I want to continue my education and give back to the ministry. My stand on verse is Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”