Prior to becoming a Christian four years ago, I had no experience with church, the Gospel, or “Christian upbringing”. This left me searching for meaning in my life in all the wrong places. I spent a lot of my life dealing with fear, rejection, and creating coping mechanisms that became so much a part of me I did not even recognize them as such. I believed I deserved the fear, rejection, and shame because “it was just who I was.”
Even after becoming a Christian, I believed I could not pray for myself. I was afraid to pray for myself. I did not feel good enough or clean enough. I would go through the Christian motions, hoping it would make me right with God. I did not know the authority I had and I did not believe I deserved it.
That has changed! Thanks to Hope for Life, and the discipleship I have received, I began to see the lies for what they were that had deceived me for so long. I thought it was not that bad, but it really was. I was barely surviving. It was only with the help of the Hope for Life program, my facilitator Ms. Chris, and other church family that I finally was able to get honest and see things the way they really were. Things were not pretty.
This journey was not easy, but I finally reached a point where I broke and cried out to God. With the support from these people and the discipleship of Hope for Life, I was finally able to walk out of the shame, fear, and darkness that I had been stuck in.
God just wants you to be honest with Him. He is waiting for you. If you want to be free from anything, it is possible. You just have to want it bad enough. I am so happy now! I now know that God loves me, and accepts me. I am no longer afraid to be in His presence. Plus, I have His power to help me walk through anything life may throw at me. If you need help, do not let shame, pride, and fear keep you from getting all God has for you. Life is so very much better than I ever thought could be possible!